My Hobbit: The Expected Journey

So The Hobbit I comes out next week. I'm not sure I can fully convey how much I love the LOTR trilogy—I recognize its flaws yet am entranced by it on every viewing. Not many movies have a special place in my heart. Just the LOTR trilogy, probably Seven, and if I'm being honest with myself, Manos: The Hands of Fate. It's actually fortunate I don't have any Fierce Tolkien Nerds as friends, because if I did, we'd get into vicious debates where I defend the movies and the friend is boring.

Naturally, therefore, I won't wait long to see Rise of the Hobbit, but, it being a big movie event, I've felt it necessary to devise a plan. Here it is, if anybody cares:

1. Reread The Hobbit. [Completed weeks ago]

2. Watch the special Colbert Hobbit-week episodes, which began last night, on the Comedy Central website.

3. Studiously avoid reading reviews if I can possibly help it. I find that taking in others' opinions of a movie about which I am certain to develop strong opinions has a tendency to make me remember the opinions of others far longer than I want to.

4. Next Thursday night, temporarily uninstall the Twitter widget from my smartphone. When it comes to spoilers for something like this, I trust no one, especially on Twitter.

5. Next Friday, surf no web, and engage in no socializing with anyone I know who might have seen it before I will.
   COLLEAGUE: Hey Z., good morn—
   
   ME: (holding up hand) EMBARGO!
   
   COLLEAGUE: …okay, I was done talking anyw—
   
   ME: What part of (holding up hand) "EMBARGO!" don't you understand?
   
   COLLEAGUE: All of it?

6. See it for the first time early Saturday, in 24 FPS if I have a choice.

7. See it again a week or so later, in 48 FPS. If the framerate is as striking as everyone says it is, I don't want to take the chance of having the initial experience sullied—yet I insist upon having the new "way of the future" experience as well.

8. Refrain from posting a review here unless I unexpectedly experience crushing disappointment. I really doubt I'll be able to be objective enough to write anything useful.